Examine Your Beliefs

Beliefs are not facts. They are mutable depending on the data that we receive.

Recently, my husband and I were listening to the most recent episode of the Hello Monday podcast, in which they interviewed Nir Eyal about his newest book, Beyond Belief. In this book, he states the above. I understand this idea from various perspectives.

But it’s still hard for me.

I’ve talked about this idea with my therapist; she reminds me that when I’m feeling defensive about something, maybe it’s because I have a belief that’s not serving well. Are there ways I can back myself out and look at it objectively? What is this belief? Are there alternate beliefs that could be true here instead?

I can open my mind to a new ideal. I don’t have to choose that other belief or truth, but just be open to hearing it. Having one belief can be limiting if I don’t accept that there are other beliefsthat can be true.

I want to have that curiosity, to be able to break through barriers I’ve set around myself.

Return the Beliefs that Aren’t Serving

At an ACOG training in 2018, I was in the inaugural class of the WEL cohort. This was a training given to midcareer medical female leaders from diverse backgrounds and sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics. They flew us out to Chicago, but we didn’t really know what to expect.

While we were there, we experienced a program to help us examine (and leave behind) ways that we have been socialized. I'll never forget the exercise that the trainer led us through on limiting performance beliefs. First, she talked about acknowledging that these beliefs existed so we could confront them. So many of us cried as we all acknowledged that we had accepted these false truths that limited our belief in ourselves.

The leader then asked us to exchange those beliefs. She even gave us a shopping bag to put those mistaken beliefs in. She told us to go back to the store and say,“This doesn’t fit. I’m returning it.” It was a powerful experience that I will never forget.

Working to Change

Even now, I still hold some mistaken beliefs, like“If I drop the ball, everything will fall apart.” This is a deeply ingrained belief for me: I am in charge of all the balls in the air, I have to juggle them by myself, and I don’t have any help. If I drop something, everything falls apart, and everyone will see through me as a failure.

I know this isn’t true at all. I have lots of help. I don’t have to carry it all.

But it definitely affects how I see myself. And I’m working on it.

I can make choices: I don’t have to say I’m too busy for wellness. I can take time to work out. I can take time to eat right and take a nap and take care of myself, the same way I take care of my husband and children.

I am working on this practice this year, identifying those limiting beliefs and acknowledging, “Is this true?”

I am working at being curious about what is true, not just as a doctor or as a mom or as a student but as a human being, and moving from that place of curiosity instead of judgement.

Dr. Braden’s Recommendations:

Lots of books to recommend today!

Beyond Belief: The Science Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results By Nir Eyal. As I stated, I first learned about this book on a podcast, was so intrigued that I bought it, and have already been listening to the audiobook. Eyal basically explains that beliefs are not facts and that there are ways that we can change them. I highly recommend.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. Great read about the importance of sticking to something.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer. He discusses how your life and your experiences are almost like a movie, and you are able to pull away and feel some distance between your emotions and what’s happening. Great book!