Taking Time For Friendship

I asked someone out today.

More accurately, I asked a longtime professional acquaintance to get together socially. So maybe it’s better to say, I asked someone out to dinner as friends, today.

Adult Friendships

As a parent, I’ve experienced the stages of “adult friendship” that many of us do. When our children are young, we are thrust together out of necessity, for playdates and preschool events, because our kids are dependent on us. Being at the same stage of life, we bond with the other parents over all the young-kid stuff, and often these friendships last a long time.

As our children get older, they become more able to navigate friendships by themselves, and so adults are not as needed. We may never meet our kids’ friends’ parents, and that’s ok. We might feel a little “at capacity” with our social lives in addition to our careers and our families.

When my children were young, we lived in a neighborhood where we were in and out of each other’s houses all the time.We all hung out together every Friday.It was a real support system; we could rely on each other. I loved that time, and I’m still good friends with many of these people.

Now, as my kids have gotten older, we’ve moved to new houses and away from that neighborhood. We experienced COVID, which changed the vibe of friendships and being connected with others in general, in my opinion. I have a beautiful house that I keep as our nest, and it’s nice to have our own family space, but the trade-off is no groups of neighbors and friends stopping by casually all the time.

2026: What Really Matters

This year, I am intentionally thinking about what gives me life. As I’ve said before, spending time with my family is paramount. Taking time alone with my husband is also important. And I’ve recognized that spending time with my friends is also very important. It refills my cup each time I do it.

But my jobs take a large share of my time. The little time I have left, I tend to spend with my family because they are my priority. So when I look at my adult friendships, a whole year may pass before I see a friend again, which isn’t right.

Consequently, this year I am trying to take the first step and invite people into my circle, going beyond thinking, “Wow, they seem so great, it would be so nice to hang out with them,” to saying out loud, “Would you like to get together sometime?” The nice thing about having dinner with friends in our 40s and 50s is that everyone else is just as tired as me. So we’re not worried about people staying over late. And that’s also refreshing!

Taking the First Step

Back to my opening statement. I asked two people “out” recently. My husband and I invited some work colleagues of mine who I had known for about a decade to dinner and really enjoyed their company. We had never gotten together socially, and I finally made the leap and “asked them out.” I think asking other adults out for a first gathering as friends is a little like being a teenager, but thankfully without the jumbled hormones. You’re hoping they say yes, but if they turn you down, at least you can return to your quiet home and regular routine.

Thankfully, they accepted our invitation, and we had an amazing time. We got along just as well as I had hoped we would. We read a lot of the same books and are interested in the same public figures. They also have high-school aged children and are also rediscovering who they are as adults.

And that went so well, I took a risk and asked another person I have known professionally for a long time to get together. I said, “We should go to dinner, because I feel like there’s something here worth pursuing.” With my schedule, this requires so much calendar juggling, but I know it’s possible, because it’s important to me. This year I’m prioritizing life-giving time, and friendship is definitely life-giving.

Dr. Braden’s Recommendation

Finally, I am restructuring these blog posts to be helpful as well as entertaining, adding a recommendation to the end. Today’s recommendation is a podcast called All the Hacks: Money, Points, and Wealth by Chris Hutchins, available on Spotify or wherever you like to download podcasts. I have mentioned it in this blog before, but today I’m actively telling you to go look it up.

At first, I started listening because Hutchins was teaching ways to accrue credit card points, which I am always gaming as a person who loves to travel. Since then, the podcast has really expanded its vision to ways to help you live a more fulfilling life.

Case in point, the Five Types of Wealth book I’ve been reading, instigating this interest in how I use my wealth of time. Hutchins’ philosophy about wealth has really evolved, from money and an increased income, to the value of time and how we spend it to fulfill our lives. He recommends lots of great books that really make you think about these ideas. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!