The Long Road to Becoming My Own CEO

I spent years trying to give away the CEO role of my own company to someone else.

Not metaphorically. Literally. I would sit in meetings with advisors and investors, describing my vision, my deep understanding of the problem I was solving, and my innovative approach to the solution. Then, almost without fail, I would pivot to asking if they knew anyone who might want to run the company for me.

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The cognitive dissonance was staggering, but I couldn't see it at the time. Despite knowing the problem I was solving better than anyone, despite having the vision and drive to build the solution, I was convinced I didn't have the "right" background, education, or skillset to run a company. This limiting performance belief was so deeply ingrained that when people told me nobody would believe I could be a CEO, I didn't even question it.

Learning the Language of Limitation

My first real introduction to the concept of limiting performance beliefs came in 2018 through the American Academy of Pediatrics' WEL (Women's Wellbeing through Equity and Leadership) cohort pilot program. It was a transformative experience that taught me many things - including that it was okay to cry publicly, which had been a revolutionary concept for someone raised to believe that professional women needed to keep their emotions in check.

The first meeting of the WEL cohort put us through a program from Lumeri, which worked on identifying and "returning" our limiting performance beliefs to the store. The exercise was brilliantly simple: we imagined we were shopping, tried on these beliefs like ill-fitting clothes, realized they didn't suit us, and then returned them to the store.

I identified several limiting beliefs that day, including the big one: I don't have the "right" background, education, or skillset to run a company.

The exercise was powerful, and I walked away feeling lighter, more aware. But awareness, I would learn, doesn't automatically translate to transformation.

The Power of Environment

Even after that revelation in 2018, I continued carrying this belief for years. And why wouldn't I? In Georgia, every successful high-growth company founder I encountered was a white man. When your only reference points look nothing like you, it becomes easy to internalize the message that you don't belong in that space.

I didn't see women who looked like me in leadership roles. I certainly didn't see women of color building the kind of company I envisioned. So when well-meaning advisors suggested I wasn't "CEO material" or that I should find someone with a "traditional business background" to run things, I drank the Kool-Aid without question.

This is the insidious nature of limiting beliefs - they don't exist in a vacuum. They're reinforced by our environment, our networks, and the stories we see played out around us every day. When representation is lacking, it's not just about role models - it's about the fundamental question of belonging.

The Berkeley Breakthrough

Everything changed in 2021 when Emory University sponsored me to participate in Berkeley SkyDeck as a university partner. I'll always be grateful to Emory for that opportunity because it quite literally changed my life.

For the first time, I found myself in a room (virtual room, thanks to COVID) surrounded by entrepreneurs who looked like me. Asian women, Black women, Latina women - all building companies, all stepping confidently into CEO roles, all treating leadership as their birthright rather than something they needed to apologize for or justify.

When I shared my doubts with my mentors there, they looked at me with genuine confusion. "Why would you think that?" they asked. "You should 100% be your own CEO."

That simple question - Why would you think that? - shattered years of internalized limitations. It forced me to examine the assumptions I'd been carrying, to trace them back to their source, and to recognize them for what they were: stories I'd absorbed from an environment that didn't reflect my potential.

These women didn't just tell me I belonged - they showed me through their own existence and success. They reflected back my own potential in a way I'd never experienced before.

Validation Through Action

The universe seemed to agree with this new perspective. I got invited to a last-minute pitch competition through SkyDeck and ended up taking home both the judges' and audience favorite awards. (The prize was a whopping $300 gift card, but the validation was priceless.)

I remember that day vividly. I locked myself in my bedroom for the virtual pitch, trying to minimize distractions and maximize my chances of success. When they announced that I'd won both awards, I burst out of that room with pure joy. My kids, who had been banished from my space for the duration of the competition, literally jumped out of bed to celebrate with me.

That moment - seeing their pure excitement at my success, feeling their unquestioned belief in my capabilities - was worth more than any prize. It was also a powerful reminder of the ripple effects of stepping into our power. My children were watching me challenge my own limits and claim my space as a leader.

The Ongoing Journey

Here's what I've learned through this journey: Even when you know about limiting performance beliefs, even when you've done the work to identify them, representation still matters. Sometimes we need mirrors we haven't looked into before to see our own potential clearly.

The beliefs we carry about who "belongs" in leadership roles are often just stories we've absorbed from our environment. They're not truths about our capabilities or potential - they're reflections of the limited examples we've been exposed to.

But here's the empowering part: we have the power to return those beliefs to the store and choose new ones. We can seek out environments that reflect a broader vision of leadership. We can become the representation we needed to see.

The Ripple Effect

Since that breakthrough in 2021, I've fully embraced my role as CEO. I've stopped looking for someone else to hand my company over to and started building the team I need around me instead. I've learned to trust my instincts, lean into my unique perspective on the problem I'm solving, and recognize that my "non-traditional" background is actually a strength, not a liability.

But perhaps most importantly, I've become conscious of the representation I provide for others. Every time I speak at an event, every time I share my story, every time I show up authentically as a CEO who doesn't fit the traditional mold, I'm potentially providing that mirror moment for someone else.

The limiting belief that held me back for years - that I didn't have the "right" background to be a CEO - has transformed into one of my greatest strengths. My perspective as someone who understands the problem intimately, who has lived the experience I'm trying to solve for, who brings a different lens to leadership, is exactly what my company needs.

What's in Your Shopping Cart?

As I reflect on this journey, I'm struck by how many of us are walking around with limiting beliefs that no longer serve us - if they ever did. These beliefs often masquerade as practical concerns or realistic assessments, but they're frequently just outdated stories we've absorbed from environments that don't reflect our full potential.

The good news is that we don't have to keep them. Just like those ill-fitting clothes in the Lumeri exercise, we can try them on, recognize they don't suit us, and return them to the store.

What limiting performance beliefs are you carrying? What stories about your capabilities or potential need to be returned to the store? And perhaps most importantly, what would become possible if you did?

The road to becoming my own CEO was longer than it needed to be, winding through years of self-doubt and external validation-seeking. But every step of that journey led me to where I am now - not just running my company, but owning my role as a leader and recognizing that sometimes the most "qualified" person for the job is the one who understands the problem most deeply.

That person was always me. I just needed the right mirrors to see it clearly.

What limiting beliefs have you had to "return to the store" in your own journey? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments.